This is Buenos Aires

I awake to disco dance music blasting just outside my window. What the fuck, I grogilly ponder as I twist and turn in bed, sorting through this foreign noise, my loose dreams, and the mystery of last night. The construction workers next door are celebrating May Day and partying hard. What time is it anyways? I spill out of bed and head downstairs. I hear new music from below and witness a crowd of people in my house. HEY! I know all you guys! Cacho (my host dad) and his buddies had returned from a morning of tennis and are preparing an asado. Perfect timing. I prepare my mate and attempt to catch up with their rapid conversations- I am like the out of shape loser at the back of the track team, trying to keep up while receiving all the laughs.

The day before, I enjoyed a free all-you-can-eat buffet lunch provided by my program, saying goodbye to the early group of Americans. The food was decent, but those celestial crepes stood on higher ground. My Wisconsin whitebred friend Joe tells me of a fútbol tournament in 2 hours so I book it back to Vicente Lopez and prepare a bag. 45 minutes both ways - que horible. We meet at Parque Las Heras for the "backpackers soccer tournament" and get placed on a terrible team. Nonetheless, Joe and I represent U S and A and play well, stubbing toenails and tearing skin on synthetic turf until the last whistle blows. Out of shape and feeling great! Runner´s high for these two guys. We book it back to his place to shower and change, already late for "International Night" at University of Belgrano, our lovely school. We arrive clutching two liters of Iguana, the cheapest Argentinian beer. A cloud of people mass on the front steps, drinking litres, vodka, tequila and sucking down cigarettes. I lean back with a group of porteños and watch from the sidelines as gorgeous ladies climb and decend the stairs. What a view. Inside is a madhouse. Intense sweating, dancing, moshing insanity. I stay for the Columbian mega dance ensemble and squeeze back outside for a live band! Dance like a maniac and attack with fist pumps and hip thrusts. ONLY IN BUENOS AIRES can you have a huge party with drinks and a live band INSIDE THE UNIVERSITY BUILDING.

I ditch the group of Americans and befriend Caitlin, a super sweet New Yorker chick. Let the night of adventure begin: We go back to her apartment and I befriend her Brazilian roommates. They feed me leftover rice, corn, a potatoe dish and much needed cold water. When Caitlin is ready to roll, we head over to Tutti i Fiocchi, my host family´s bar in Palermo. I find Gustavo, the only family member I had yet to meet and he seats and compliments us with Quilmes Red Lager, my new favorite Argentinian beer. After some lovely conversation and laughs, I order a slice of lemon pie. But this ain´t no ordinary lemon pie! It´s made especially by my host mom, Elvira. I had seen her bake this sensational treat numerous occasions and I actually moved the pie off the stove earlier that day...and here we were (the pie and I) in Palermo sharing a slice with a perfect stranger. And what amazing pie it was, exploding with love.

Fast forward....me and Caitlin randomly go to a bar with a cool mural in front, drink some mojitos and leave after a huge dick of an argentinian kills our vibes with his drunken idiocy. All's well that ends well, right? Too bad it didn't. Caitlin has to meet up with a gay friend at a hardcore gay bar and I am not in the mood to get hit and rubbed on. We say goodbye and part ways... What next, David? Anda con el viento. I meet up with one of Leah's friends at a boliche (club) and it's completely awful. She is awful too. Super fake and annoying. I leave without saying goodbye and book it to Troy's house, but he's not there. So I go to Plaza Serana to meet him at Azucar, but I arrive at the wrong plaza, walk in a huge circle, eat a superpancho ( big juicy hotdog) and a chocolate donut filled with dulce de leche (for 40 cents) and wander towards Plaza Armenia, urinate on a uber trendy boutique and find Troy dancing by himself on the street corner, obviously happy about something. We glide back to his house (where I just was) and spit (yell) rhymes till we lose our voices. Its 6 in the morning and something tells me to keep the adventure alive. I hail a cab back to Vicente Lopez and slip into bed by 7...

5 hours later and I'm eating a pork head with a group of 7 old men. I even eat the eyeball. It was superb! Finally, some strange food. Everything in Buenos AIres is much more 'civilized' than the cow feet, wild jungle pig, and brain I ate in Guatemala. Gimme that STRANGE! After a great lunch, confusing conversation and a delisioso bread pudding (made by Elivra), I whip out the guitar and provide some live entertainment for the boys. All smooth. All groove.

Now here I am making plans for this eve. Weekend twists are bliss to my shishkabobed soul. Im rolling in pirate gold. Flying with tigers and lying with five or six chicks on a brick oven pizza. Sweet or sour pass the hour to the left. I'm spicing up my rhymes with thyme and time. Divine destiny, where will you lead me? We´ll see...Soon enough.

David Julius